Scandalous Stickers Support Bicycle Bomber


Last week, a lone bicyclist left an explosive device at an army recruiting center in New York City’s Times Square, damaging the windows and entryway. It is widely suspected that this is the same bicyclist who targeted the Mexican consulate with an explosive device last year on the anniversary of Brad Will’s murder by Mexican government officials. No one was injured in either event.

Despite maintaining an extensive network of security cameras and a police force that is among the biggest standing armies fielded by any nation, the NYPD faces serious challenges in identifying the alleged bomber. At first, the press reported that a communiqué (“We Did It”) and “rambling political manifesto” had been sent to Capitol Hill claiming credit for the bombing. This proved to be a false lead; in fact, it was simply an unluckily-timed letter from a California liberal. Officials are now pointing to alleged anarchist involvement.

Let’s accept, for the time being, the hypothesis that this was an anarchist. You know how the old joke goes: how many anarchists does it take to break an army recruiter’s window in Times Square? One to blow it up, and 10,000 to put stickers on their bikes about how blowing stuff up is cool.

But seriously, folks, we’re distressed to report that such stickers are already in circulation, discrediting our movement and corrupting the next generation. Don’t believe it? We’ve tracked down copies of the offending sticker, which you can download here. If you still aren’t convinced, print the design out, photocopy it onto sticker paper (easily available from your nearest office supply store), and stick one up yourself—on a private surface you own, naturally—to simulate the sort of unconscionable vandalism that is taking place around the country right now. Isn’t that infuriating and outrageous?

Meanwhile, as New York politicians nobly decry the cowardice and irresponsibility of the bicycle bomber, the number of documented civilian deaths from violence in Iraq since the 2003 invasion is about to reach 90,000.